Sexual Assault & Interpersonal Violence

Interpersonal violence can be traumatic and terrifying. It is common for a survivor to feel overwhelmed by emotions, to appear completely shut down, or to be anywhere in-between. It is important to recognize that whatever you are feeling right now is a normal response to what happened and acts of interpersonal violence are never the survivor’s fault.

Some common symptoms that survivors may experience include:

• Repeated, disturbing memories or dreams
• Suddenly feeling or acting as if the stressful/traumatic experience is happening again (e.g., flashbacks)
• Feeling very upset or having strong physical reactions when something reminds you of the experience
• Avoiding memories, thoughts, or reminders of the experience
• Not remembering some aspects of the experience
• Persistent feelings such as fearful, anxious, angry, irritable, sad, numb, guilty, ashamed, confused, hopeless, helpless, loss of control, and any other emotional reaction
• Changes in how you view the world, such as difficulty trusting people, believing the world is dangerous
• Blaming yourself about what happened, thinking you should have handled differently, seeing yourself as weak or inadequate
• Not enjoying things you usually enjoy
• Being afraid to be alone or isolating self from others
• Behaving differently from usual, such as irritable behavior and angry outburst, risky behavior or self-destructive behavior (e.g., substance use, sexual behaviors, driving)
• Being super-alert or seeing danger everywhere, being easily startled or jumpy
• Hard to focus/concentrate
• Sleep problem
• Change in eating/appetite
• Headaches, tension or pain in other areas of the body
• Feeling detached from self or surroundings, such as feeling as if you were in a dream, time moving slowly, disconnected with own body/emotions/thoughts, or feeling distant/unreal from the surroundings
• Feeling unsafe in having physical intimacy
• Feeling hard to form relationships with people because of trust issues and/or boundary issues
• Thinking about suicide

You are not alone. What happened was not your fault.

• If you are in immediate danger or injured, please call 911
• Get to a safe place
• Call someone you trust
• Seek medical attention
  • When you call Helpline and Hotline, you will be guided to connect with a local sexual assault service provider to address injury, pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease.  You may wish to have a sexual assault forensic exam (“rape kit”) within 120 hours in which Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner (SANE) or someone trained to provide the exam will collect DNA evidence that can help identify the perpetrator. You don’t have to agree to the forensic exam, but doing so may give you a stronger case against the perpetrator if you decide to report the crime now or in the future. Do not shower or discard your clothes in order to preserve evidence. If you are on or near NC State campus, Campus Health and its Gynecology Department 818.515.2563 can provide medical attention, and InterAct Solace Center 919.828.3067 or 866.291.0854 (toll free) can provide a sexual assault forensic exam. The cost would be covered by the victim compensation program. 
• Seek support of an advocate and/or counselor
  • You don’t have to go through this difficult time alone. Call NC State Women’s Center Sexual Assault Helpline at 919.515.4444, InterAct Sexual Assault Crisis Line at 919.828.3005 or 866.291.0853 (toll-free) in Raleigh, National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673), NC State Counseling Center at 919.515.2423 for support and guidance 24/7. Try not to isolate yourself.

Remember that you are a survivor! Be patient with yourself in your recovery and try to avoid telling yourself that you “should” be over this by now. Everyone processes and moves through traumatic experiences at their own pace and in their own way. Give yourself time and know that you are right where you need to be in terms of overcoming what has happened to you.

• Physical safety: Assessing your physical safety and taking measures to keep yourself safe. 
  • If the incident recently occurred, lock all windows and doors. You may also consider having a friend or family member stay the night with you to provide comfort and support. 
  • If you do not feel safe, consider staying in a shelter or with a friend. 
  • Having your phone nearby at all times in case you need to call the police.

• Self-care: Self-care is a significant part of the healing process and is something that does not always come naturally to all of us. Be kind and gentle with yourself by incorporating self-care activities into your daily routine.

• Physical self-care
  • Making sure to seek out medical care if needed
  • Eating well and getting enough sleep are essential in healing
  • Exercising (e.g., taking a walk) helps your healing process
  • Maintaining personal hygiene helps to feel better

• Emotional self-care: Emotional self-care may be different for each person, so spend some time thinking about what you need.
  • Reaching out to available supports helps in many ways
    • Talking to and spending time with supportive friends and family members
    • Getting support from survivor support programs (Women’s Center, Violence Prevention and Threat Management Program, Equal Opportunity and Equity, InterAct)
    • Starting individual counseling, group counseling, support groups on and off-campus
    • Appointments at the Counseling Center are confidential, and you are not required to report the incident. Counseling Center can also help you connect with a counselor in the community. Counselor will help you manage your reactions and help you decide what will help you recover from this traumatic experience. It is never too late to seek help, even if the incident happened a long time ago. 
    • Remember the Counseling Center’s on-call services are available 24/7. You can speak with an on-call counselor by calling 919-515-2423. 
  • Grounding yourself to the present moment when having a flashback or ruminating the memories. You can do this by bringing your attention to what you notice with your five senses now. What do you see around you? What do you smell? What do you taste? What do you hear? What do you feel by touching something?
  • You may also choose to carry a rock, or another small object with you so that you can touch it to ground yourself back to the present moment when you begin thinking about the incident. 
  • You may also find that standing up, walking around, or splashing cool water on your face may help ground you to the present moment. 
  • Create a safety statement to tell yourself when you feel unsafe while actually safe. For instance, “I am feeling scared, but I know that I am safe right now” or “This feeling will pass and I am going to get through this.”
  • Journaling can help some individuals put words to feelings and process emotions. It can be a good way of managing the range of emotions that may come up after the incident. 
  • Meditation and body stretch/relaxation can help release tensions from your body 
• Spending time doing things that you like to do is an important aspect of self-care. Think about your hobbies or activities you enjoy and make time for them during your week.

• Listen to them and believe what they are telling you.
• Be patient with them. Do not force them to tell you any details or specifics of what happened as it can be traumatizing for them.
• Help them feel empowered. Do not tell them what they should do, but help them explore options and ask how you can support them.
• You do not have to have all the answers, and you do not have to know all the “right” things to say. Being there for them, validating their emotions, and letting them know how much you care about them is how you can be helpful.
• Rely on others in your life to process your reactions to what happened to your friend or loved one. If your friend or loved one has experienced interpersonal violence, you may feel incredibly angry or have other strong emotions about what happened. This is a natural response; however, it can be overwhelming for a survivor to be there for you in processing your reactions, so go to another friend or family member for support.
• If they decide they want to talk to a professional, you may choose to walk with them to the Counseling Center or one of the other support resource centers.
• Remember to take care of yourself!

• Educate yourself and your peers about consent, sexuality, and healthy interpersonal relationships. Encourage your friends and peers to understand their own sense of boundaries, healthy relationships, and safety. Create spaces where you and your friends/family/peers can safely address concerns about relationships, sexuality, personal safety, and consent.
• Educate yourself on interpersonal violence facts and speak up when you hear others spreading myths. Empower your friends and peers to feel that they can speak up against myths and survivor-shaming behavior.
• Empower yourself to engage in safe and appropriate bystander interventions. Interpersonal violence is often allowed to occur due to the lack of bystander interventions. Learn how to recognize interpersonal violence when it is occurring and how to effectively and safely intervene.
• Engage in survivor-friendly social media that promote healthy relationships and consent culture. If you feel comfortable, confront social media behavior and messages that promote unhealthy relationships, relational violence, sexual assault, and survivor-shaming.
• Learn now to be more involved through the Women’s Center’s website.
• Consider joining the It’s On Us campaign.
• Consider becoming an InterAct volunteer, Women’s Center volunteer, or a Mental Health Ambassador for the Prevention Services.

Individuals who realize or are accused of interpersonal violence may feel overwhelmed, completely shut down, or anywhere in-between. This range of reactions is normal as this realization or accusation can be traumatic and disruptive to your life. Some common reactions that these individuals may experience include:  

• Disbelief or shock over the realization or accusation. 
• These reactions may come out in the form of crying, yelling, laughing, or feeling detached from your emotions.  
• Feeling anxious, guilty, ashamed, sad, hopeless, angry, or irritable
• Difficulty sleeping or sleeping too much
• Difficulty eating or eating too much  
• Ruminating about the incident 
• Isolating from others     
• Mistrusting others and thinking that others do not trust or believe you
• Headaches, tension or pain in other areas of the body

• Remember that everyone processes and moves through difficult experiences at their own pace and in their own way. 
• Self-care is a significant part of successfully moving through difficult experiences and is something that does not always come naturally to all of us. You will need to be mindful of making it a priority in your life. Self-care needs are different for each person, so spend some time thinking about what you need.
  • Physical self-care: 
    • Make sure you are eating and getting enough sleep. 
    • Exercising can be a good way to take care of your body, but make sure that you are not overdoing it. 
    • Maintaining your personal hygiene can help you to feel better about yourself. 
  • Emotional self-care:
    • Journaling can help some individuals put words to how they are feeling and process their emotions. It can be a good way of managing the range of emotions that may come up for you. 
    • Meditation and relaxation skills can also be helpful in reducing anxiety and feeling more “centered.” 
    • Talking to supportive friends and family members and spending time with loved ones can be beneficial. 
    • Spending time doing things that you like to do is an important aspect of self-care. Think about your hobbies or activities you enjoy and make time for them during your week. 
    • Counseling and professional support during this time can be helpful, including  respondent support program (Student Respondent Services)
    • Focus on what you can control. You might find yourself feeling very vulnerable and out of control. Focusing and acting on healthy ways you can influence your situation can help.
    • Have compassion both for others and yourself. How would you respond to a friend in the same situation? What would be most helpful in getting them through it? Your responses to these questions might be helpful for you too.
    • Try Grounding Activities. If you find yourself ruminating about what happened and need to bring yourself back to the present moment, try bringing your attention to what you notice with your senses. Check in with your sense of sight, smell, taste, hearing, and touch. What do you see around you? What do you smell? What do you taste? What do you hear? What do you feel?
    • You may also choose to carry a rock, ring, or another small object around with you so that you can touch it to bring yourself back to the present moment. 
    • You may also find that standing up, walking around, or even splashing cool water in your face may also help bring you to the present moment away from your ruminating thoughts. 
  • The following is a list of unhealthy coping mechanisms that may bring short term relief, but do not help in the long term and can cause additional problems:
    • Isolating yourself from others
    • Using alcohol or drugs
    • Cutting or other self-harm behaviors
    • Binge eating or restricting your food intake
    • Acting out with aggression or violence
    • Plotting revenge 

• Women’s Center
• Main Office: 919.515.2012
• 24-hour Sexual Assault Helpline: 919.515.4444
• Provides advocacy and support to survivors with all gender identities.
• Can accompany survivors to court, to obtain a restraining or no contact order, during a sexual assault forensic exam, and to other on-campus and local resources.
• Can assist with accommodations including helping with academic accommodations or communicating with professors on a survivor’s behalf, assisting with changes in housing or parking, and other accommodations depending on need.
• Offers a Survivor Fund used to assist survivors of interpersonal violence with expenses incurred as a result of that violence

• NC State University Police
• Main Office: 919.515.3000
• Emergencies: 911
• Provides assistance from a law-enforcement perspective including reporting and investigating the crime.
• Has officers who are specially trained to work with cases of rape and sexual assault.

• Campus Health Services
• Gynecology
• Main Phone Line: 919.515.2563
• Confidential resource
• Administer medical attention that does not involve concern for prosecution during regular business hours.
• Can provide physical exams, emergency contraception pills, and tests for sexually transmitted diseases and infections.
• Does not offer forensic medical exams for evidence collection in sexual assault cases, but help survivors connect with off-campus providers for forensic medical exams. 

• Student Legal Services
• Main Office: 919.515.7091
• Confidential Resource
• Provides students with education, advice, and representation within the scope including domestic concerns and criminal matters.
• Has limitations to what they can provide if both parties are NC State students/staff but can still offer information and referrals.

• Student Conduct
• Main Office: 919.515.2963
• Survivors can seek information regarding their options.  While the University encourages survivors to participate in the conduct process, they will not be required to participate in any conduct process.
• If a survivor decides to report allegations of interpersonal violence, facilitates the University conduct process in addition to or instead of any legal options that may also exist.  

• Office of Institutional Equity and Diversity & Title IX Coordinator
• Main Office: 919-515-3148
• Helps students understand their options and steps to ensure students’ concerns are appropriately addressed through options including formal investigation and informal resolutions.
• Can provide accommodations including: the imposition of a no contact order, class schedule changes, University Housing room assignment changes, and others depending on need.

• Prevention Services – CARES
• Main Office: 919.515.4405
• Provides outreach and consultation services to the NC State community.
• Provides early intervention to determine appropriate resources and referrals to campus and community resources. 
• Anyone can report behaviors that they feel are concerning or worrisome through Concerning Behavior Referral on the NC State CARES website and case managers of the NC State CARES may reach out to the students of concern when appropriate.   

• Student Respondent Services
• Main Office: 919.515.4405
• Provides support to individuals accused of engaging in sexual harassment or interpersonal violence (relationship violence, sexual assault, stalking, etc.) in understanding resolution processes and assisting with supportive measures.

• Office of Violence Prevention and Threat Management
• Main Office: 919.515.4224
• Provides effective intervention in situations that pose or may pose a threat to the safety of the community.
• Can assist students, faculty, and staff in developing safety plans for interpersonal violence situations.

• Student Ombuds Services
• Main office: 919.513.0235
• Confidential Resource
• Provides information, discusses university policies and procedures, and helps students resolve situations.

• University Housing
• Main Office: 919.515.2440
• Trained to assist survivors.
• Can help survivors get connected with resources on and off campus and can support survivors with requests for room changes or other housing concerns.

• LGBTQ Pride Center
• Main Office: 919.513.9742
• Understands the unique needs and circumstances of LGBTQ-identified students and can provide support and resources for students who have concerns related to interpersonal violence.

• Multicultural Student Affairs
• Main Office: 919.515.3835
• Understands the influence of culture on an individual’s experience and can provide support and resources for all survivors.

• African American Cultural Center
• Main Office: 919.515.5210
• Understands the influences of African American culture on an individual’s experience and can provide support and resources for students who have concerns related to interpersonal violence.

• Jeffrey Wright Military and Veteran Services
• Main Office: 919.515.5041
• Understands the influences and/or challenges military services may have on an individual’s experience and can provide support and resources for students who have concerns related to interpersonal violence.

• Office of international Services
• Main Office: 919.515.2961
• Understands the influences and/or challenges being an international student and having unique cultural backgrounds may have on an individual’s experience and can provide support and resources for students who have concerns related to interpersonal violence.

• InterAct and Solace Center
• Main Office: 919.828.7501
• The Solace Center: 919.828.3067 or 866.291.0854
• 24-hr Domestic Violence Crisis line: 919.828.7740
• 24-hr Sexual Assault Crisis line: 919.828.3005
• Confidential Resource
• Offers crisis counseling, information, assistance with shelter, emotional support, advocacy, court assistance, and referrals to other agencies as needed.
• Can also assist with paperwork for domestic violence protective orders and criminal charges.
• Have groups for survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence.
• Offers forensic medical exams for sexual assault survivors at the Solace Center.

• Kiran
• 24-hour confidential crisis line: 1.877.625.4726
• Confidential resource
• Non-profit organization that serves and empowers South Asian survivors of domestic violence with backgrounds from the following countries:
  • Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Bhutan, India, Maldives, Nepal, Pakistan, Sri Lanka.
• Offers safety planning, translation assistance, client advocacy and accompaniment to court, assistance with domestic violence protective order filing, and green card applications.
• Can connect survivors with resource referrals including legal providers, temporary housing, medical providers and therapists.
• Offers secondary family services and can assist in arranging childcare, transportation services, and medical referrals for immediate family members.

• North Carolina Department of Public Safety – Victim Compensation Services & Rape Victim Assistance Program 
• North Carolina Victim Assistance Network 
• RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
• North Carolina Coalition Against Sexual Assault
• National Sexual Violence Resource Center

Interpersonal violence is an umbrella term of conduct that hurts a person in any or no relationships. According to Code of Student Conduct at NC State University, interpersonal violence is a course of conduct directed at a specific person, whether in the context of a social or intimate relationship or otherwise, that would cause a reasonable person to feel fear for their safety or safety of others or suffer substantial emotional distress. This may include, for example, non-consensual communication, including in-person or cyber communication or contact, surveillance, telephone calls, voice messages, text messages, email messages, social networking site postings, instant messages, postings of pictures or information on websites, written letters, gifts or any other communications that are unwelcome and/or place another person in fear of, or at risk of, physical injury or danger. Interpersonal violence can be sexual, physical, verbal, and emotional, such as sexual harassment, sexual assault, relationship abuse, stalking, family abuse, abuse in other relationships. Interpersonal violence may also include sexual harassment and abusive behaviors using power differential. 

Interpersonal violence can be traumatic and terrifying. Anyone may become a survivor of interpersonal violence, and also anyone may become a perpetrator even when not intended. Some acts of interpersonal violence are against laws and/or violation of the student conduct policies of the university.

Sexual harassment is an umbrella term of unwelcomed conducts on the basis of sex.  According to Code of Student Conduct at NC State University, there are two definitions of sexual harassment. Title IX Sexual Harassment means conduct on the basis of sex of the following: (1) “quid pro quo” harassment by an employee (conditioning benefits on another individual’s participation in unwelcome sexual conducts) (2) Unwelcome conduct determined by a reasonable person to be so severe, pervasive, and objectively offensive that it effectively denies a person equal access to the education at NC State, and/or (3) Sexual assault, dating violence, domestic violence, stalking and other sexual misconduct.  

In addition, Equal Opportunity, Non-Discrimination and Affirmative Action Policy of the NC State defines sexual harassment as conducts based on a person’s sex or is of a sexual nature including unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, sexual exploitation, and other verbal, non-verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature.  

Sexual assault is a general term that describes acts of unwanted sexual contact. According to Title IX Sexual Harassment Policy, sexual assault is a forcible or nonforcible sex offense, such as rape, sodomy, sexual assault with an object, fondling, incest.  

Sexual assault can happen in any relationships. Consent is necessary every time there is sexual contact in any relationship, including married couples and committed couples. When a person is incapable of giving consent because of age or because of temporary or permanent mental (e.g., being drunk) or physical incapacity (e.g., sleeping), the sexual contact is sexual assault. 

One in five women will experience sexual assault or attempted sexual assault during her time in college. One in six men experience sexual violence in their lifetime. In the majority of cases, the perpetrator is someone the survivor knows; frequently alcohol is involved as a perpetration method on campus.  It is important to remember that sexual assault is never the fault of the survivor.  

According to Title IX Sexual Harassment Policy, dating violence and domestic violence are violence committed by a current or former spouse or intimate partner. Abusive behaviors can be physical, sexual, and/or emotional, examples include threats of self-harm or harm to others (e.g. a text saying “If you leave me I will kill myself”), name calling, belittling, controlling behaviors, isolation, forcing to engage in sexual acts when a partner does not wish to. Some of those abusive behaviors are against laws even among married couples. 

It is often difficult for survivors to leave abusive relationships for a variety of reasons. The dynamics of power and control present in these relationships often leave survivors feeling like the problems in the relationship are their fault because they are the ones who provoke their partner’s violence. It is important to remember that relationship violence is never the fault of the survivor.  

According to Title IX Sexual Harassment Policy, stalking is defined a course of conduct that would cause a reasonable person to fear for their own safety or the safety of others, or suffer substantial emotional distress.

Stalking can occur in many forms. Examples of stalking include, but are not limited to: waiting outside of one’s class, the gym, grocery store, sending unwelcome messages via social media or text messages. Acts of stalking are against laws.  

Those experiencing stalking may make changes in their lives in an attempt to avoid the perpetrator. Stalking cases have the potential to escalate quickly, especially if there was a previous perceived relationship.